Nothing Prepares You.

August 8, 2018.

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Nothing prepares you for the ache. You feel like you have had time to prepare for the inevitable, but when it comes, you find that nothing could have prepared you for this moment.

Tuesday August 8, 2018 started out as a beautiful day. There was light through out the night, I woke up, ironed the ootd, boiled water for a bath, put in a little workout and packed breakfast. There was also a beautiful sun outside, and I thought it was going to be such a beautiful day.

In retrospect, there were the hours between 3 and 5 that I struggled to sleep. Could it be because my morning was turning at that moment.

I know you are definitely in a better place. I know here wasn’t any good for you anymore but we all selfishly wanted you here, keeping faith for the days you are strong enough to hold our hands and say our names.

I will miss you. And this is putting it mildly.

I’ll miss our conversations. Nobody can come close to you in that department. You were the most brilliant man.

I’ll miss your presence in Emmanuel Church. How your beautiful singing voice transcends all the other voices hymn-singing. Or when you clear your throat through the quiet of the congregation. Someone started sitting in your corner and I havent stopped deathstaring at that person.

I’ll miss our meals together. Your pristine table manners. They don’t make men like you anymore 😦

I’ll miss sharing your biscuits and chocolate.

I’ll miss your style. You had great taste and it reflected all around you.

I will miss your smile. Oh Daddy! That very sweet grin that you have. Your hugs and your busses.

I don’t know for certain what’s on the other side. I know our faith tells of a time in eternity, but I’m grateful that on this side, you were here with me and for me.

The greatest uncle ever!

Love always,

Ijeuru.

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The Chicken or the Egg….

I was walking to “work” this morning, and there is this makeshift refuse dump by a pole an ordinary pedestrian like me has to walk past. I remember feeling relieved these past days because every time I have walked past that pole, there wasn’t any dumping there.

Relief because this is not a designated dumpsite, it was along a very major and beautiful expressway, and it embarrassed me because human beings, who claim to share the same number of faculty as I, repeatedly make this mess and think it okay.

Today’s pile interested me because it was packed in a clear bag, and filled with eggshells. The culprit of that heap became clear. There is a Mai Shai right at the turning into the crescent. So his customers were wont to stop by for a little “Indomie and blanket” or Bread and omelette. From the heap, yesterday was a very prosperous business day.

I wondered if that was a normal days sales or….*wait for it*… a slow days sale!!

For one location, that was a lot of egg, and it got me thinking about all the chicken and egg consumed on earth daily. It reflected another wonder of the Almighty God, because how can this quantity of the bird be consumed on the daily, and it is still not extinct!?!? Nothing is spared, not the young unhatched or the grown, and adult bird. I will jump guns and assume that 3x the human population on earth is consumed in form of that bird daily. Explains why they are genetically engineering it, for fear that there are not going to be enough chickens to eat soon (I’m not worried about it because the chicken featured in Yoruba mythology of the creation story. It is a shareholder to earths existence) (I am just glad the chicken wasn’t in the christian version. It may have featured as a villain 😥 )

I am grateful for chickens.

I did this as an entry to something GTBanks’ Gtcreate account on Instagram used to host on Thursdays years ago. The theme was to draw a chicken Lol! Guess who is the chicken??

I still don’t know the answer to the riddle; the chicken and the egg, what came first?

Fried rice and Chicken!

Jemjem

Starstruck: Tom Cruise

You know, when one of your favourite faculty suggests a movie, you have to find it and you have to see it.

My relationship with Tom Cruise associated movies was mostly pop culture inspired. Until “Vanilla Sky” happened, and I have been looking for who will give me back the time I spent watching it and hoping for It’s redemption (in their defence, it was the era of doing movies with your significant other, & he needed to mark attendance with Penelope Cruz).

Then I found out how untall he actually is. I rolled on the floor laughing. My senses can be unkind sometimes.

But redemption comes in the morning.

Last year, after our first exam as a class, to unwind we turned our classroom to a mini theatre and we projected “American made”. There were lots of lessons to be learned there. I really loved it. Seeing Tom again made me realise I had missed watching him ( I had skipped all the MI installations of the years past).

Now, to the movie that tossed the salad.

The Firm.

*soft sigh. I thoroughly enjoyed the underlying themes of the movie.

There was brilliance.

There was providence.

Friendship, forgiveness and faith.

And a strong ache for vengeance.

This is not a movie review so I don’t want to get carried away giving away all the fine details, but I remember thinking as I watched through scenes reasons why Tom Cruise was the best guy for the Mission: Impossible franchise.

When it was time to run, I was like “yea…for real my guy can run“. When it was time to squeeze or climb into odd spaces, I was like “my guy small before na why e go size am

In all, he has had a very interesting acting career, and that ability to fit into roles (save for Vanilla Sky..rme) is the reason why Tom has remained relevant all these years.

It’s not a bad thing at all that he has good looks too, and is a squinty when he smiles.

We 🖤 you Tom.

Starstruck: Kate Henshaw

Maybe we will make this thing a weekly thing, till we run out of steam, aye?

Kate Henshaw. I came homegrown this time.

I have “known” Kate since my siblings and I never finished watching “Thorns of Rose” ( abeg who knows how that feem ended?) and reading my mothers National encomium. They never stopped carrying gist about her and Sammy Okposo. (I think its really a thing that these people have remained relevant over the years).

Speaking of her relevance, Kate always impressed me with her vocals. She didn’t have any bastard accent taunting her English language. She spoke fluently and cried in an “awww come here!” way.

She did well with the jobs she was cast as too. Hardly out of place or uncomfortable to watch.

Imagine my amusement when she embraced her comic side, starring as Basorge’s love interest in the local comedy series “Do good”.

She also knows the way to the fountain of youth, because she has looked the same (& even better) over the years. I know she tries to accord that to her fitness lifestyle but meh… we forgive her if she doesn’t want to lead us there.

Here’s hoping she has enjoyed gracing our screens with her beautiful smile as much as we have enjoyed seeing it across our screens.

The labours of our heroes past…

I haven’t sang the national anthem in a bit. I usually do it as a prayer on Independence day, along with the national pledge. But, last Independence day, I was overtaken by life, I am not sure I took the time to carry out this tradition. I guess I can blame this on the fact that it was a Sunday, and I was in church, and certainly, na pray for Nigeria go be the theme.

Naija

In my conversations on The Port Harcourt Bookclub Whatsapp group (Thanks Andy), personal curiousity and learnings from my “Socio-Political Environment of Business” class, I have learned so much history and stories about Nigeria that leaves me like R Kelly singing “If I could turn back the hands…”

I am not sure how all these new knowledge makes me feel about singing the national anthem. For starters, I’m the minority that really liked the original one that the oyibo people gave us. But what do I know, I am the minority after all.

Here is one thing I do know; that labours of our heroes past, I’d like to clarify on which of the heroes exactly we are talking about before asking that it never be in vain.

Nigeria, and poor Nigerians have had a roll with bad leadership. its really bleak running through the photo album of them all. There is so much pervasive selfishness and greed among the pages, you might just have a fit. An epileptic one. (Word to the wise, you are better off not looking through them) (Unless you are trying to confirm the bad track record of one of them. I promise you won’t be disappointed in that front)

Its been 18 years of Democracy. We say things are getting better, but young Nigerians (who are even old if i do say!) need coercing to go and get their PVCs and be eligible to vote in the coming elections. How they are hoping things change while acting defeated beats me.

Andy had a beautiful thread, on twitter, where I think he has found a hack out of our “situation” if we can be patient and strategic in our application. See, the institutions that exist already nurse our misfortunes in this country. Its up to us to wean it of the badness.

Now, back to that “labours of our heroes past”, who wants to be a sport and send me the list, so that my anthem singing can be more precise. I certainly would not want to include the “hero” who was overwhelmed by the Forex earnings, and publicly admitted to having “too much money, the problem is how to spend it”

By the way, Happy Democracy Day!! Our Democracy is old enough to drink beer now!

two persons holding drinking glasses filled with beer
Photo by Tembela Bohle on Pexels.com

StarStruck: Hugh Jackman

StarStruck is a series I thought about writing when I found myself thinking of all the celebrity influences that I have in my life, and how they may never know because the groupie in me is dead (read as never existed). I mean, I love Darey and Naeto C, but I remember bumping into them at different occasions and acting so cool like I no even see them. Maybe another time and place. Maybe.

So I thought if I am going to bump into them and act like they regular, I might as well write about how unregular I think they are!

Hugh Jackman is fortunately the first one to make my list because I haven’t stopped listening and singing the songs from The Greatest Showman in my head!!

I am not the least surprised to find out that Hugh’s middle name is MICHAEL! (Surely I am not the only one who thinks that there is something about that name?)

Hugh successfully transited from being my favourite action hero to being my favourite musical star. I am so happy that such a versatile talent graced the screen in my lifetime. I remember going berserk every time Wolverine made the slightest appearance on screen. I am such a fan. Of his nonconforming ways and how he still remained everyones favourite. I know Wolverine is a character that was scripted, and may not be a true representation of how Hugh is, but I also believe that if a man can pull off an act that efficiently, there is a part of it that comes innately.

Wolverine
Wifebeaters were made for Wolverine and Wolverine for wifebeaters…

I was very sad to learn about his recurring carcinoma’s and haemorrhage and how they were getting in the way of his work. It is linked to why the Wolverine character had to be killed in Logan (plus Baba was aging physically too). I know Les Miserables was not a bad act at all, but Hot damn!!! The greatest showman was ICING!!

Hugh Jackman IS the greatest Showman!!!!

Okay, I’m getting excited again, but reading about Hugh and all the work he put into improving his craft shows an admirable degree of dedication. An inspiration of how passions/crafts/gifts should be pursued. He plays more than one instrument, dances, sings and is your favourite action star.

Full package anyone??

Hugh Michael Jackman

League of Extra-Ordinary First-time Mothers.

Everything about birthing is nothing short of a miracle.

Be it Nannygoat or bitch.

But the birth of a human baby, the bringing of another life, knowing that earth is a miserable space and resolving to protect your child with your every breath from the misery therein.. I haven’t quite found the words to capture it.

I would shout out to all the mothers of stillborns, because even though I haven’t been in the same space as a birth, I have had to hold a mothers hand through a stillbirth experience, & there is hardly another agony that comes close. Those mothers deserve a dedicated post. This one is not about them.

This one is about Agbonma, Agatha and Donnie. Real life superheroes whose names I have changed to protect their privacy 😊. I have known these people (well, 2 out of 3) for most of my life. They all attained superhero status when they became mothers.

2 out of 3 had premature babies. At the time when it is said to be risky to birth a child before term.

I was mostly in touch with 2 out of 3 of them for most of their pregnancy. I knew it was tough, they had their big challenges and challenges with the experience, but they never let on.

Not in their voice. Not in their reactions.

They were not deluded in the least. They were instead gassed up by the incredible juice of faith.

3 out of 3 of these women, went at least 4 days after birth without their babies. Because their babies needed more than their colostrum at that point to live. They had waited 9 long months (let’s approximate, shall we?) to meet with their charming offspring, instead they had to learn new terms for their already populated vocabulary.

NICU. SCBU. Tubes and oxygen and more tubes because as much as you think they need to be cuddled, they need to survive the next minute more.

The boys are all bubbly and well, to the glory of our great God. The mothers recount their ordeals with pride and you cannot miss the gratitude in their voices. It’s underlying like a rug laid from corner to corner. I love to hear them share the testimonies, adds a skip to my step, reaffirms my belief that we are not alone.

Everyone (exaggerated but..) anticipates the joy that is motherhood/childbirth, but no one ever prepares you for the event that things may not go according to plan. Nothing breaks you into your reality.

I have seen strength, I have seen faith, but none comes close to these extra-ordinary women , first time mothers who literally carry the world on their shoulders. They do it with the smile and strength that puzzles me.

Cheers to the brilliant league of extra-ordinary first time mothers!!!🍻🍻🍻