Maybe it’s because I woke up to the news of people, including my friends mom, passing.
Maybe it’s the sincerity I felt when she said to me “thanks for coming”, and I asked her why, under estimating the value of my presence.
It’s the earnest way she replied “having you around lit up my weekend”.(Her exact words.)
It has to be that.
I’m so used to having my mother so strong and independent (I sometimes blame my disinclination to be mushy on her), that hearing those words from her resonated in me.
I didn’t think she was a brick without feelings, but I assumed she never felt lonely or missed us, her children.
I was wrong.
I have never thought it weakness to express feelings of loneliness or even mushiness, but it has become even more validated in my life, the need to express them.
I aim to constantly grow and review my ideals. I’m going to call my mother more, make her visit more, visit her more. Less of the “taking for granted”, more of the “memory making”.
Make the most of this time that we gave together before the Lord calls her home.
Because shame on me if there are obvious characteristics and more potentials in the beautiful woman that I don’t help her explore and express to its fullest.
In the meantime,Thank you Mammy! For not coddling me.