I remember when I turned 27 and I wrote about it here, and worried about how I had pictured my life up to 27 and didn’t quite have a clear picture of how the years after it would go.
I am glad it’s been 3 birthdays since and I am still here, standing, flossing-ish, deliberately happy, working on my success.
I felt like that one needed it’s own space because it inspired this post.
In the most unlikely of circumstances, I was asked if I was married or had any children, to which I responded in the negative. And then I was asked again if it was something I wanted. I didn’t sound as excited as I would have loved when I responded that “it will be beautiful to see what a unit that springs out of me looks like”. Such a technical response for an “emo” question.
I realise that I am changing. My ideals, my interests. I thought I was controlling these but it turns out my general experiences were lurking in my subconscious and changing some things.
Including my ambitions of a family.
In the past week, I have had conversations with people who do know me and people who are getting to know Me, related to marriage and children, and my responses have generally surprised me.
5 years ago, I probably had a list of names of all the children I might have and what murals I would paint on their walls. 5 years later I still haven’t painted my first mural. And now I don’t really know when and if I will.
Family is important to me, has always been. Life for me has been redefined to mean the time space between which humans who have bonded over time and chance, by blood or by association live in communion. Honest loving communion.
It’s in my father accepting that I’ll never be a medical doctor.
It’s in my mother realising that persuasion requires skill in application.
It’s my sister’s being the best landladies at different epochs and keeping my life epic.
It’s in my relationship with my brother adjusting to the new dynamics of him having a family that comes first.
It is in me celebrating with my friends and adjusting to the changes their new jobs, marriages, cities and/or children bring.
It’s in adjusting that I was wrong about my faith (or lack of) in a person. Because while I have been changing, and growing, they too have been experiencing stuff I may never know about.
It’s in being comfortable that nothing lasts forever. Embracing change head on, no fighting.
I started writing this piece months ago, and somehow abandoned it in the drafts. The mood may have gone. The inspiration changed. But you find that the message remains relatable in a whole new light.
The only thing permanent in nature is change. The person who coined that ironic statement must have patted himself on the back for his wit.
I know I would have.
Peace and love,