For the first time in a long time, when I felt the rush to write something, it wasn’t about Mrs. Maisel.
October of 2023 is rounding up and I am pseudo-analysing my year as I am wont to do. In comparison to the effort of 2022, this one showed more grit, but the human nature in me says it’s not enough yet.
I reviewed my vision board for the year, and I had the pleasure of making my phone lockscreen so that I am reminded to be intentional. It looks like progress was made, the needle was moved, and the power of intention was validated afresh.
So, in some way, 2023 was like a modification of my 2017. I learned again how much things can improve when you are intentional about it improving. This is funny because the trend shows that I make these changes after I have a reportedly abysmal year (2016/2022), which, when you look in from the outside, looks like a cool af year experience.
I experienced my first friendship break-up this year, and nothing could have prepared me for it. For one, this is someone I thought would be in my life forever, but e be like forever na 20 years… I also didn’t imagine that the reason I was cut off was valid enough. I know we aren’t supposed to invalidate other people’s feelings, but you know the dangers of a one-sided story. Ms. Adichie already did us the honor of reminding us this, all those years ago. I am also self-aware to an extent, so I know I am not bad vibes. I’m what you may call a low-maintenance friend. I meet you halfway or all the way, depending on how I feel. You see, this evaluation was triggered by a conversation I had with another friend. She asked how I do it, how I am able to show up all the time for my friends, and how to show an equal amount of energy. My response to that was that I didn’t overthink it. It’s the only way I know how. I am not the soldier matching on to war with you (because I can’t fight), but I am a soldier all the same.
An after effect of the pains of that friendship break up was that I was going to dey in my lane. I go check who check me. I go send who send me and all the variations of that type of resolution. Of course, I have failed at it. It’s natural for me to reach out and want to hang out or whatever, and the chore has been more of restraining myself because I dey ask myself, “Does this person send you like that?”
I have decided that I am going to continue doing what and how I know to do life. It hasn’t cost me so much so… Aluta continua.
The other bone in my adulting shoes is living in a country whose economy is dwindling. I should be grateful to afford the life that I have, but knowing that I want more from life and that it may require a renewed spin on the rat race just gives me so much heartache.
Adulting is a scam, but I am Alive and well so this post is naturally going to end in praise.
There’s less than 100 days left to the end of year and my next birthday so.. what can I do in this time to make sure I have stupendous excitement fueling my birthday?
I am open to all your suggestions.
Jemmyma's 